These Hands
by Monou Hakkai
Summary: Gensomaden Saiyuki x Sailormoon one-shot. Who would have thought that our hands could be sinful weapons? ::Makoto-centric::


These Hands

Rating: G

Summary: Gensomaden Saiyuki x Sailormoon one-shot. Who would have thought that our hands could be sinful weapons? --Makoto-centric--

Disclaimer: Minekura Kazuya owns Gensomaden Saiyuki. Takeuchi Naoko owns Kino Makoto.

AN: Constructive criticism is welcome.

Warnings: Spoilers for the first story in Saiyuki Manga volume 4, which has mentions of Hakkai's past.

Ara = Oh my

----

Whenever Cho Hakkai looked at his hands, he couldn't help remembering the sins of his past. Who would have thought that these slender fingers he was born with, the hands that Kanan found beautiful, could cause such lethality? Who knew about the hidden damage he could do? He himself didn't. In actual fact, nobody would have known about it if his sister wasn't taken away from him. The then Cho Gonou wouldn't have been feeling this much pain inside of him right now. He would have been happy with Kanan and guarantee to her that they would be together forever.

But that promise vanished from Hakkai's eyes in an instant, as though it was a dream. Rather than be filled with immense ecstasy, his soul was engulfed in guilt. Guilt from taking away the lives of many Youkai and guilt from being unable to save the one person he loved. Cho Kanan took her own life because she thought it was the only way to save herself.

"Gonou," Her words came into his mind again. "In this stomach I carry that monster's child. Therefore…" Tears ran down her face as she spoke. "Goodbye, Gonou."

"Kanan," Hakkai covered his face with one hand as he reminisced over the tragic scene. How many times would he have to relive his nightmare of seeing the bloodbath of everyone he killed and watch Kanan commit suicide? It often ruined his dreams.

"Ah you're awake now," A mellow voice entered the bedroom and it somehow took Hakkai by surprise, making him turn his head to the door and his outstretched arm drop back to his side. Courtesy of the lady's unexpected arrival, Hakkai's senses returned his mind to reality and, by reflex, his mouth curled into a friendly smile as soon as his face met the visitor. If Gojyo was here, he would have made a move on the young lady by now. And who would blame him? The half-demon found a lot of women attractive in his eyes.

"Oh," Hakkai chortled nervously, "Good morning, Ojou-san." He looked at the lady's physical appearance a few times, wondering where he had seen her before. There was something familiar about her shiny brown hair and jade eyes that held a sense of kindness. Impossible! Surely it couldn't be… Hakkai's concealed surprise suddenly died down when things became clear to him on why he recognised her.

How could suddenly he forget that this was the owner of the house who welcomed him last night? Maybe he was too exhausted from his walk to even think properly and remember who this person was. At least the sleep managed to give his engines a rest and make him wide awake the next morning. With his fully conscious mind, Hakkai couldn't help noting how tall she was. She was most likely to be taller than the average lady one stumbled across in towns. The sight of females who were large in height was uncommon.

"I just made some breakfast," the lady stated. While she spoke, Hakkai noticed the timidity on her face, even if she was trying to show a bright smile. Was she embarrassed by his appearance or the fact she thought she had woken him up accidentally? He didn't expect to be taken by surprise when she greeted him outside his room. If he had gotten up sooner to get dressed and not indulge himself too much in the past then he would have been ready to say 'Good morning' happily without any problems and not look a bit strange with his messy guise. "Um, I'll let you get dressed and prepare your food, ok?" She laughed nervously for a brief moment and scampered from the doorway to leave her guest alone.

Hakkai thought it wasn't really important to wonder why she was acting a little shy around him. Many reasons that could be made but it would take some time to find out which was the right answer. After all, he was only a guest who was staying at the local inn for one night and intended to resume his journey soon after. Stepping out of his bed he picked up his clothes that were neatly placed on the chair beside him and got dressed straightaway, making sure there were no creases in his shirt or trousers before leaving his room to follow the smell of what seemed to be pork buns in the hallway.

The odour of fresh food led him to the kitchen where the owner of this tiny house could be seen walking in all corners of the room (trying to find something as though she was in a hurry) and then place a plate of steaming white buns on the table, followed by a small glass of mineral water.

She looked up and quickly presented that kind smile again from before. "Please, take a seat." Hakkai nodded gratefully and sat down by the table. "I hope pork buns are okay for you to eat. I've not been shopping recently and this was the only food I could offer for a guest."

"Don't worry, this is fine," Hakkai insisted warmly, grabbing one bun and splitting it into two to release the steam from inside. The smell of the pork flew into his nostrils at a speed that reminded him of a sudden adrenalin rush in his body. He bit into one half of the bun and chewed slowly. Too bad Goku wasn't here. He would have liked these pork buns. Or even eat the entire plate in one gobble, knowing how very hungry he could get on a daily basis.

Hakkai found the inn owner standing by the sink in a curious manner, watching him eat his breakfast. Trying to make the silence less tense, he grinned at her charmingly and she smiled back in return. Good, the lady wasn't staring at him as if he was a strange person.

"So, Ojou-san…"

She laughed lightly. "I think it would be easier for you to just call me Makoto. Saves you from using Ojou-san constantly, wouldn't you say?"

Hakkai chuckled in his throat. "Well all right then if you are happy with that."

"Hey I don't mind," Makoto said, waving her hand in a 'don't worry about it' gesture and taking a sip out of her glass of water that was sitting by her right hand side.

"What is it like living here, Makoto-san?" Hakkai asked, bringing the conversation back to a very business-like air.

"Um, it's…peaceful." Her gaze slowly turned to the window and she went on to comment about how nice the weather was today. Seeing her move her eyes like that made Hakkai wonder if he offended Makoto with his question. Some people didn't mind being asked about their life in general but it was possible that this woman was speaking from an opposite perspective. "So what's your name then, if you don't mind me asking?"

"Cho Hakkai." The brown haired man answered. He was relieved by the fact that this woman wasn't avoiding his eyes because he asked her a supposedly nosy question.

"Cho Hakkai, huh? That's a nice name," Makoto commented and turned her face back to look at her guest again. "So why are you travelling in this direction?"

"I intend to meet some old friends and go on a special journey with them," he explained, slightly amused by Makoto's expression of amazement as she listened to his words. Had this lady never travelled outside her home before? Was this why she was amazed by his mention of being a traveller?

"Your journey sounds challenging," Makoto said, clearly referring with great emphasis to the word 'special' in his sentence.

"Well I suppose you could say that," Hakkai replied, his eyes returning to his breakfast. Would it make any sense to tell her what the journey was about? Was it necessary? Some of the previous inns he had stayed in had mixed opinions on what they thought about Youkai. A few humans said they hated monsters whilst there were others who believed there was hope in bringing peace between humans and Youkai just like in the past. Hakkai's perceptive thinking was disrupted when he felt something soft touch one of his hands. Surprised, Hakkai didn't notice in advance that Makoto had promptly sat down on the other side of the table to examine his left hand.

"Hakkai-san, I really like your hands," Makoto noticed, gently turning his hand to look at the front and back. "Your fingers…for a man, they're so slender and…beautiful." Her head bowed down to conceal a tiny blush on her cheeks and moved her fingers away. Hakkai couldn't help feeling so negative about the compliment and when he said, "I don't deserve such praise for my hands," it sent Makoto's head flying up again so she was looking at him in the eye once more. She was apparently shocked by his comment and couldn't help becoming more shocked when she observed his face. The charming smile and friendly demeanour he had constantly shown since the first time he came here had faded and were replaced with a very sorrowful façade, which was quite a dramatic transformation in Makoto's opinion.

"Please forgive me, Hakkai-san. I didn't mean to upset you." Makoto bowed apologetically.

"No, as the guest, I should be the one apologising because I said something rude," he said. He was trying his best to smile in that charming way but didn't seem to make any progress. It was too late to turn away now. He let his sinful past cloud his mind rather than accept the implied compliment given by a friendly person.

"Seems to me you don't like your hands," Makoto said. "It's not like they're disfigured, are they? From what I can see they look perfectly normal."

Hakkai was afraid something like this would arise. Who would blame her for bringing up such a curious query? More importantly, how could a woman he barely knew show sympathy for someone like him? "You have no idea how dangerous these hands can be." He looked at his hands again; picturing the blood of the Youkai he had slaughtered staining his palms in a deep crimson shade.

Makoto wasn't sure whether to believe his words or not. Was he really being serious here, stating how dangerous his nice hands are? It sounded impossible. It couldn't be true, could it? But when Makoto looked at the sadness on Hakkai's face, she had the feeling he was being very honest. Even if she didn't know this man very well, Makoto could sense something wasn't right with him. He was hiding some sort of pain and it had just showed itself by coincidence from the minute she complimented his hands.

"Did you…hurt someone with those hands?" Makoto enquired. "Is that what you mean by your hands being dangerous weapons?" Hakkai couldn't believe this woman. How was she able to make some well-rounded assumptions? Makoto moved her chair from the other side so it was now much closer to where Hakkai sat, their distance from one another being less than two feet.

"Well, would you believe me if I said that my hands are dangerous too?" Her hands surfaced onto the table. Hakkai wasn't sure how to react to her related comment. Surely she didn't say that just to cheer him up. "Hey I'm being serious like you are, Hakkai-san," Makoto firmly said when she spotted Hakkai's obvious hesitation to believe her statement. It was rather apparent that the wavy haired brunette was being straightforward here. Her lips weren't moving uncomfortably and her entire face was displaying a great deal of seriousness all over.

Hakkai's brief cynicism drifted away and he observed Makoto's hands, just like she did with his own not long ago. He honestly couldn't believe what he was seeing. All ten fingers weren't as slender as his but they still carried the message of 'not as fragile as they seem' underneath the bony knuckles. "It's not possible," he stated. "How can a lovely woman like you have hands that are sinful weapons?"

"You don't believe me, do you?" Makoto grinned lightly. "OK maybe you might think differently when I say I used to fight a lot in the past." Unsurprisingly, Hakkai's astonishment grew the minute she said that aloud. "These hands you see right in front of you have been soaked in blood. They've even damaged jaws and cracked some bones in various places."

She didn't expect her guest to understand every single word she had told him. Not in one go anyway. Well, who could? A lot of people often fell into the 'looks can be deceiving' trap when they stumbled across this woman named Makoto. On the outside she seemed typically feminine. But her true self only unleashed if someone threatened her. Cho Hakkai happened to be the first outsider who had discovered Makoto's other side through simple dialogue rather than a physical demonstration, which would most likely end up being painful for him if he wasn't careful enough.

"Why did you fight a lot?" Hakkai asked.

"Life got worse after my parents died," Makoto explained. "There were some people who wanted to rob this house and grab the money that Otou-san left me, whilst there were others who thought I was a good enough target to be picked on." She bit her lip nervously as she spoke. "Even if I was trying to defend myself, I didn't mean to do so much damage to these people. Guess I didn't realise how very aggressive I could be."

With the way Makoto's face was showing itself, Hakkai had the feeling she was determined to prove she was being honest with him. Her emerald orbs had enlarged with desperation, as though she was trying to cling onto his arms and shake his body until he believed her. But the thing was, he had believed her every word so far. He was right about what he had said. This pleasant woman wasn't the type of person who had bloodstained hands. Not like him. Envisioning Makoto with bloody palms didn't suit her. Then again, wouldn't Kanan have said the same thing with Hakkai's hands? Maybe she was thinking that right now in Heaven.

"So, how worse is the story with your hands then?" Makoto questioned. Hakkai thought it was a little funny how this conversation didn't turn out to be bad. Here sat a woman, who was unafraid to tell him, a stranger, about how it felt to have dangerous hands like him. And it looked like she was ready to hear his side of the story. But only if he was willing to - in order to even the conversation out between the two of them.

"My story is worse than yours," Hakkai admitted. "My hands have tasted the blood of at least a thousand Youkai."

"A thousand Youkai?! No way!" Makoto exclaimed in amazement. Those slender hands of the handsome guest sitting in front of her were THAT powerful. Unbelievable! Who would have thought there was someone else who was as worse her? "W-why did you kill so many?"

Hakkai closed his eyes, bowing his head down in a solemn gesture. "T-they took her away."

Her?! Makoto thought, puzzled. Who could he mean? She wondered. Did these Youkai kill someone close to him? Out of the blue a memory from this morning came to Makoto's mind while she pondered over the identity of this female – and then it hit her. Surely hearing Hakkai say a person's name in his sleep had nothing to do with the woman he wasn't able to save, did it? Makoto didn't want to pry too much into Hakkai's past. Perhaps it would overwhelm his current state with more pain. It had been a while since she had felt the guilt of hurting so many people in the past, until just now. "Hakkai-san, who is Kanan?"

Hakkai gasped for a moment and lifted his head up in surprise. "H-how do you know about Kanan?"

"Well, when I was about to check if you were awake, I heard you say the name Kanan a few times," Makoto said. "I thought you were having a nightmare and just left you to sleep for another hour." She grimaced as she watched Hakkai return into his sombre position. Did this gesture answer her question yet? She didn't need to be told whether her guess was correct or not. It could be seen in the way her guest was acting in front of her. Kanan was the woman he couldn't save in the past. That was all Makoto knew. But what Kanan's relationship with Hakkai was something she wasn't sure about.

"Kanan was someone I loved very much," Hakkai answered, as if reading Makoto's thoughts telepathically. "She was my older sister. The person I wanted to be with forever. But I couldn't save her in time."

"Did someone murder her?"

"She killed herself," he replied. "Kanan didn't want to give birth to a monster's child."

"Oh!" Makoto covered her mouth in horror. "Oh…Hakkai-san, I'm so sorry." She didn't need to use a lot of imagination to wonder how an innocent woman got impregnated. It was too disturbing to think of right now. Nevertheless she understood how it felt to lose a loved one.

"I don't think Kanan would forgive me for taking away many lives," Hakkai said. "She once told me she liked my hands. And now…they have been stained with blood. Even if they are clean I can still see some of the crimson marks in my mind. I…I cannot embrace anyone anymore." As he studied his hands again, he unexpectedly received the same touch to his skin. Makoto had leaned closer to him and Hakkai was able to get a more intimate glance of how deeply green her eyes were.

Hakkai found her irises to be vividly fascinating. Almost reminding him of his own eyes…and funnily enough, Kanan's too. Yes there was no doubt about it this time. Makoto was a close reminder of his older sister. He wasn't imagining things in a silly way previously. Makoto almost had the same soft hair and jade orbs as her. His observations really did spot a resemblance between the two women. There was more than obvious kindness in those emerald irises. He could see the hidden strength she had told him about as well. It must have been a long time since she had shown her secret side to anyone. Maybe she had avoided contact with other people in order to suppress this other part of her, which was how she ended up like this – calm, gentle and sympathetic.

"Hakkai-san, it doesn't matter how bloodstained your hands are from the past. They are still beautiful in my eyes," Makoto insisted, interlocking her fingers with his and gazing at him delicately. "I'm certain Kanan-san would say that to you too." Hakkai was unsure on how to react in front of this woman. He was bewildered from her gentle touch on his palms as well as her very sympathetic façade. How could these once violent hands be capable of softness? However, despite Makoto's obviousness on liking his hands no matter how bloody they once were, there was one other thing about Cho Hakkai she wasn't aware of.

"Would you still show compassion for me if I told you I was a Youkai?" Hakkai asked. Makoto's eyebrows twitched a little. She was apparently unprepared for a question like that. He knew it was a risky move to ask her this, but he had to find out sooner or later how she would have felt if she knew the truth about him. To Hakkai's astonishment, Makoto smiled and her fingers remained intertwined with his own. What did this expression depict then? He wondered.

"Of course I would," Makoto confessed. "Human or Youkai, I'd still be friendly to you, Hakkai-san." Spontaneously, her other hand pulled some brown strands away from Hakkai's face in order to stroke his right cheek. "I take that the cuff on your left ear is your demon power limiter."

"Ara, you are very perceptive," Hakkai said, smiling gently and admiring the smooth caress on his face.

Makoto smirked back. "I had some friends who wore demon power limiters so I know a Youkai when I see one."

"Does this mean you have nothing against Youkai?"

She nodded. "I know a lot of Youkai have gone crazy but they will return to living peacefully with humans one day. When that will happen is still unknown to me."

Hakkai agreed and added, "My friends and I intend to find out who is behind all this."

"Really? Well I have a lot more respect for you now, Hakkai-san," Makoto stated, patting one of her hands on his left shoulder. It was refreshing for Hakkai to meet more humans who had hope in there being peace with themselves and Youkai just like in the past. It made his determination on his journey stronger each time.

"Makoto-san?" he beckoned to her calmly.

"Hmm?" she answered.

"Has anyone told you your hands are beautiful?"

"W-what?" she became flustered by the compliment and felt Hakkai's fingers tighten in his connecting grip with her hand, as though a new bond had been made between the two of them. Her reddened cheeks were unable to hide when his other hand cradled the side of her face, her glance ascending from below until it came face to face with another pair of green irises. "Hakkai-san, I…" Unable to think of a way to finish her sentence, she mimicked his motion and cradled the side of his face as well, giving him the same softness he was providing for her. If she couldn't find a good enough word to describe her thoughts then perhaps a sign would do the trick.

"I wish I could stay with you," Hakkai whispered. "However I have to resume my travels."

"I understand," Makoto replied. They both stood up from their seats and left the kitchen, their hands remaining close to one another as they walked down the hallway. Feeling the slender beauty of Hakkai's hands was something that had made Makoto blissful in quite a while. She had given up fighting to find peace within herself, not wiling to take the risk of unleashing her more ferocious side to people. On the one hand, it appeared that Hakkai was also being hesitant in releasing his own hand from Makoto's. Neither one of them had opened the front door yet and instead was looking at each others' eyes intensely.

"Thank you for being so understanding," Hakkai said. "It's been a long time since I talked to anyone about my past."

"Same here," Makoto replied, moved in to wrap her arms around his neck and hugged him. Hakkai's back straightened as soon as his sensed indicated a warm presence. Why was he stunned? Was it because he hadn't been embraced for so long, especially by a woman? How long had it been since he was hugged by Kanan? To be embraced by a woman who had a small resemblance to his older sister soon turned out to be simply uplifting. Hakkai placed his arms around Makoto's shoulders. The smoothness of her wavy brunette hair tickled his hands while he held her for a few seconds. If only he had more time to stay with her. It would make them both content. Alas, this man had an important job to do.

"Be well," Makoto murmured in his ear.

"You too," Hakkai remarked in return. They simultaneously broke the cuddle and Makoto opened the door to let him depart. Before he disappeared from her sight, Makoto called to him and said, "If you have the chance come back to visit."

Hakkai's charming smile returned to his face. "It's a promise, Makoto-san." By saying that, he meant it from the bottom of his heart. This was a promise he was determined to prevent from breaking, particularly to another woman who loved his hands.

OWARI


End file.
